Funny Quotes

There’s nothing less funny than someone who looks cool. There’s nothing more unappealing.

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

I love practical jokes and humor. That there’s frankly no joke that I don’t think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don’t like being scared.

My girlfriend doesn’t think I’m funny at all.

I think the best comedic actors don’t play it for comedy, they play it for reality. Then you find it funny because it’s real. Playing the genre is the worst thing you can do – it’s embarrassing.

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

I well remember the pride that my parents felt when my brother and I went up to Cambridge, but I also know many friends that I grew up with – brilliant, funny, acutely intelligent girls – who never fulfilled their potential.

My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.

Perhaps since I have been using the Synthaxe, it might have made it easier for people to listen to me, in a funny kind of way it takes for things to happen.

I’ve told so many stories to so many friends of mine. I have friends in Pittsburgh, in West Virginia, and in Indy. That’s three different demographics of people, and they all laughed, so I assumed that if I find something funny and all my friends find something funny, I hope people everywhere will find it funny.

We adore babies because they’re so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.