Funny Quotes

I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don’t think I’m believable as these aristocratic mean girls. But I do love playing them.

I’ve never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don’t really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny.

One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy’s restroom and she wasn’t embarrassed at all.

There’s a lot of stupid men out there who feel like makeup is a betrayal of the truth, and that is so funny to me.

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It’s just funny.

I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I’m not funny. I’m not good. I’m – I don’t feel original.

I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: ‘not sexy,’ ‘not funny,’ ‘too intense,’ desperate.’ All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn’t a trace of my true self left.

One of my best friends growing up was Vietnamese, and he and his mom would teach me how to say certain things so I could impress my nail girls. Then the nail girls would teach me how to count to 100 and basic things like ‘Thank you’ and ‘You’re welcome.’ It’s funny, because any accent that I do now always turns into Vietnamese.

I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it’s that same fear.

There is something irresistibly funny about a funeral. More basically, I think the point is that beyond the deepest tragedy, there is laughter. Even in the midst of tragedy, there is always the possibility for it.

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.

What is extraordinary about the character of Edna – and I speak as though I am completely outside this character and I am talking to you – I’m, as it were, in the wings, and she’s on stage, and every now and then she says something extremely funny, and I stand there and think: ‘I wish I’d thought of that.’