Funny Quotes

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, ‘Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.’

It’s a funny thing. I’ll be in my home town of Columbus at a restaurant or something, and the waiter maybe asks, ‘What do you do?’ and I say, ‘Oh, I’m in a band… Twenty One Pilots,’ and he’ll say, ‘Cool, I’ll check it out. I never heard of them.’ And then I say, ‘In September we’re playing the Schottenstein Center,’ and it’s like, ‘What?!’

My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But in retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious.

It’s funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn’t afford my rent.

But a funny thing happened four years later. I was invited to play for an alumni team against the Red Wings.

I’m a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It’s funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it’s kind of a lifestyle and it’s easy to get caught up in it – you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone’s doing a certain thing… It’s tough.

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny!

Novels are not about expressing yourself, they’re about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.

I’d say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he’s just, he’s talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don’t know what’s going on.