Funny Quotes

I don’t think the show would be funny to you if you didn’t already have a base of information.

I’m blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I’m sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I’m nice – and I like to eat.

You can’t be funny for funny’s sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do.

I wouldn’t totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I’m not going to go out of my way.

I don’t mean to be funny.

I didn’t plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it’s juvenile, but that’s me.

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren’t so exciting.

I don’t want to get myself in trouble – and I don’t think I’m super important or anything – but I think it’s so funny that when you look at the business and the way that people make decisions in their lives, whether they’re in art or music or they’re in industry, they forget that being unique is the answer.

It’s funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park.

I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

I’ve known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

I’m not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I’m much more of a thinker.