Funny Quotes

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.

You have to make a lot of sacrifices, and the main thing you have to sacrifice is your privacy. It’s funny because when I was growing up, my daddy was and still is an insurance agent in our home town. He couldn’t go anywhere without somebody recognizing him or needing something from him.

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it’s funny. And it’s not funny. It’s not.

Sometimes fake laughing is hard once you’ve done a scene 18 times. I don’t want to brag, but I have a reputation for being very, very good at that. It’s funny finding what’s challenging about acting as you go.

It is quite possible for the vulgar to be funny, but to succeed, it must rise to a certain genius.

The funny thing is, I’m so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things… I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn’t.

Being stupid and compassionate are not conflicts. Being mean and being funny and having something to say are not a conflict.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.

I actually went to see ‘Rushmore,’ and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. That’s a brilliant scene, and I have to say, we play it brilliantly.

I trust God’s timing. I’m a very spiritual person, and a lot of times, we want things on our time, and we come up with our own plans of what we want to do with our lives, but God be like, ‘Haha, you’re funny. That’s cute. Anyways, this is what you’re going to do,’ and I’ve learned to just sit back.

It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I’m not perfect. I’m a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don’t do well.

At this point, I’ve really failed at a lot of things. It’s nice to be able to say that, in a way. I’ve failed at music. I’ve failed at dance. And acting – there have been times when I went out and read lines to audition for acting parts. I believe that if anybody wrangled together those audition tapes, it would be pretty hysterically funny.