Funny Quotes

It’s funny because I’ve made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say.

Naked dudes are inherently funny.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Being mean just for being mean’s sake isn’t funny.

Nothing is off-limits. There’s just some things I cannot crack. Politics I can’t do. When I start to talk about it, I just get really angry and super sincere. I have never found a way to craft all of that absurdity into funny.

Michael Bates was a very funny actor; he’d served in India, could speak Urdu, and had great comic timing.

I remember listening to the radio as a kid and finding that the songs always made me feel more peaceful. Funny, but the more hurtin’ the music was, the better it made me feel. I think of that now when I write my songs. I may not be feelin’ the blues myself, but I’m writing them for other people who have a hard life.

My parents always told me to be myself. I was always funny and silly as a kid. And I would always make them laugh. And they always told me to dream big and follow those dreams.

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child’s tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It’s not funny and it’s not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn’t the least bit funny.

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It’s not funny! It was real.

I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.