Funny Quotes

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

I’m kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

There’s one thing about baldness, it’s neat.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

I may be a living legend, but that sure don’t help when I’ve got to change a flat tire.

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.