The age of chivalry is past. Bores have succeeded to dragons.

Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.

The first rule of business is: Do other men for they would do you.

Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you’ve conquered human nature.

He had but one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

There are strings in the human heart that had better not be vibrated.

The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself.

It is a melancholy truth that even great men have their poor relations.

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

Great men are seldom over-scrupulous in the arrangement of their attire.

The men who learn endurance, are they who call the whole world, brother.

There are only two styles of portrait painting; the serious and the smirk.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.

Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips.

An idea, like a ghost, must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.

The civility which money will purchase, is rarely extended to those who have none.

Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.