Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

If women were particular about men’s characters, they would never get married at all.

Old men are dangerous: it doesn’t matter to them what is going to happen to the world.

There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?

You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn’t really hurt.