Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.